Staring down the barrel

20 Sep

has a whole new meaning for me. I feel like that’s what I’m doing with my doctors appointment tomorrow.

Tomorrow we get some answers. Do I for sure have to have a second surgery? What are the odds this fixes it? When are we going to do it? What will the healing be like? Will this finally be the end?

I am so sick of having a hole in my tailbone. I am so sick of having to have Jason change packing and gauze. I am so sick of worrying that packing is coming lose. I am so sick of hurting after sitting. I am so sick of feeling like my hair and back are never properly cleaned, since I have to be careful to keep the wound dry.

I’m done. I’m over it. This has been the most sanctifying experience of my life, but I am ready to be done with it and using what the Lord has taught me through this in so many other ways.

Tomorrow, we know.

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