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An ode-es to Moses

16 May




Last Tuesday, we had to make one of the hardest decisions ever, to put our sweet boy Moses out of pain, and have him put to sleep.

The whole thing started the previous Wednesday, when we noticed he wasn’t eating, wasn’t acting himself, and had runny eyes and a runny nose. We took Moses in to the vet, who did x-rays and diagnosed him with an upper respiratory infection and a 105 degree fever. He gave him some shots and sent him home to get well.

As of Saturday morning, bubba boo still wasn’t eating. Since we had a wedding out of town, we decided to take him in the the vet for boarding/TLC. Little did we know he would never come out.

Monday when we went to see him, he looked terrible. His coat was shaggy and hadn’t been groomed, and he acted very drowsy and sleepy. The vets were giving him iv fluids, but he wouldn’t eat. Tuesday when I went to see him, they told me they had been giving him high protein sugar paste, and he was responding well. Before I even walked in the room, he heard my voice and started meowing…something he hadn’t yet done. I spent quite a while loving on him, and before I left I gave him his blankie. The look on his face when he saw it was priceless; He started purring like a wild man, and feety-ing with joy. I felt so optimistic he had turned a corner.

The vet called later that morning and asked to do more bloodwork on him. He called later that Tuesday afternoon, and asked us to call him back. It was urgent. In the phone call, he informed us that Moses had tested positive for Feline Leukemia, even though in December he had tested negative. We had 2 options: keep him on antibiotics, have him suffer infection after infection until one finally took him, and expand his short life of maybe a year, or put him to sleep. We knew what we had to choose.

On a rainy May afternoon, we spent around an hour sitting on the vet’s floor sobbing and loving on the kitty cat whose life would only be around 14 short months. Our vet was extremely kind, but honest, in that the situation we were in was very rare, and exceedingly sucky. While petting sweet Moses to sleep, we told him we were ready. The vet gave him a shot to sleep, and we were able to say our goodbyes. He fell asleep peacefully with me sobbing my apologies, and wishing I could crawl in the kennel with him, and Jason trying to take care of me.

We only had Moses a few months, but he took our whole hearts. In his short life, his fur absorbed a lot of my tears, he was the first I whispered, “I think I’m pregnant” to, he was in the family hug when we found out, and he slept on my belly during the early weeks. He made us laugh ALL the time, and was really the best cat you could ever hope for. Even Jason loved him.

12 weeks…it’s going so fast!

19 Apr



How far along: 12weeks….nearing the end of my first trimester!!!!

The baby is as big as a: peach! How sweet!

What’s happening to baby: baby is about 3 inches long, but from here on out all babies will start growing at different rates! The baby’s head is half the size of his/her body. The intestines (which have been growing in the umbilical cord), will begin moving into baby’s belly. Vocal chords are also developing this week!

Gender: 8 more weeks…if we chose to find out. 😉

Movement: I thought earlier this week I might have felt a little quickening while I was laying on my back, but nothing for sure.

Food/Drink cravings: sonic water (with lemons and limes…so good!). Root beer.

Sleep: I’m only getting up once or twice a night now! Sleeping on my belly has become too uncomfortable, and I’m trying to train myself to stay off my back, which is hard, since I’m a belly/back sleeper.

Symptoms: I can only eat 3 or 4 bites of food at a time, or else I start to gag. It makes meal time take forever, but it’s ok, since my sweet husband is a slow eater, too!! I’ve had a lot more stretchy, crampy pains in my lower belly, also.

Getting ready: I’ve been hitting up lots of garage sales for unisex clothes, and I also found an adorable excersaucer. My wonderful mother in law also bought us our nursery furniture! I CANNOT wait together it all set up, it’s amazing!

Baby, Oh Baby!!

5 Mar

After a long time of trying, Jason and I were super excited to find out last week that we were finally pregnant!! We have had several people ask us why we shared our news so early, and the answer to that is two fold. First, we are so overjoyed finding out we were pregnant, we couldn’t wait to share the news with all the people who have prayed with us through our fertility journey. Second, we would rather have people walk through this journey, no matter the outcome, with us and see the glory of Christ in everything about our lives right now!!!


About This Pregnancy:

How far along: 5 weeks 5 days

The baby is as big as a: sweet pea

What’s happening to the baby: s/he is .05-.09in, their heart is 3/4 of the way formed, but it will start to beat this week!!!! The brain, reproductive, cardiovascular, and nervous systems begin to develop.

Gender: too early to tell

Movement: too early for that, too. 😦

Food/Drink craving: all food seems to be grossing me out, but I generally prefer either Mexican food, or really really spicy food.

Sleep: I am getting up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom. I’ve also this week started having crazy dreams.

Symptoms: lots of cramping/pulling in my lower abdomen, crazy bad headaches. Usually my symptoms are worse at night. I’ve also been sleeping around 12-13 hours a day, either at night or through naps.

Getting ready: we have our first appointment on the 20th, and I am so hoping for a Doppler/sonogram that day!!


28 Nov

So I made myself a promise that I was going to get better at blogging. I was going to get better at documenting life, and the season we’re in now. Then that life quickly started getting ridiculous. So, here’s a quick numerical list of what’s happenin’ at the Ross Casa:

1.) We’re moving on Friday. No worries, just to a cute little townhouse in Bryan. But I’m still pretty stoked, we’re not going to be in an apartment anymore (no one above us), and we’ll only share one wall with someone, and that wall won’t be our bedroom. I’m also excited about moving to Bryan and getting to know the area a little better.

2.) Jason is starting a new job. If you want details, you’re probably going to have to ask him. I just told you all I know.

3.) We officially started fertility treatments last month. While the first month of Clomid worked, we are not pregnant, so tomorrow starts our second cycle. Which reminds me, if you see me and I’m shrieking or crying (or both), try and show me some grace, this medicine is rough stuff, and I have to double it this month.

4.) We’re getting ready for a trip to Missouri to see my parents and spend Christmas there. While I love and adore seeing them, the long trip is usually kinda hard, especially with everything else being in chaos (you know, moving, new job, crazy hormones…awesome mix).

I know it might sound as if I’m complaining, I am really feeling exceedingly blessed. The Lord has been so great to carry us through so many changes, and has showed us abounding mercy with His timing, and I am so excited to see the changes that Jason and I are going through as individuals, and as a couple. While in my timing I would not have put myself in this place, I am thankful for the lessons the Lord has sent us. My constant and heartfelt cry is that we would wait well, and that we continue to see the amazing gifts we have. Will you be in prayer that this holiday season is not a time of great pain, but one of beauty, rest, and rejuvenation?


14 Nov
This poem pretty much sums up the season that I feel Jason and I are in right now. Every time I read it, it reaches to the depths of my heart and pulls at the strings. I hope that maybe it’ll encourage you too, in whatever season of waiting you’re in!
by Russell Kelfer



Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

“My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

Next week to do list

21 Jul

Jason is going to Portland this week, so while he’s gone, I have some things to check off my list:

1. Have a total paleo diet.

2. Work out twice a day (gym in the morning/Zumba in the evening)

3. Read 4 books.

4. Get several craft projects done.

5. Plan a way to have a weeks worth of meals frozen (for nights like tonight when I don’t feel well).

6. NOT mope around the entire time.

Bring on the worst week of the year.

Update and Menu Planning

28 Nov

With so much going on these past few weeks, I feel like I just need life to pause. Now, where’d I put that dang remote?

I am now a “stay-at-home-mom” to this little sweet heart:

I’m going to take some time off to heal, so while I’m here I’m also going to work on managing our home. Which means figuring out ways to save us money, and to be a good helper to my amazing husband. One way to do both of those is to work on food!

Oh, and I start wound care again tomorrow. Boo. Some days I feel like I am healing really well, others, not so much. Today is one of those not so much days. I’m trying not to be too upset by the small opening I have in my surgery sight, but its hard.

Any-who: on to the food! I’m going to start doing 2 weeks at a time, since I’m not able to drive yet, and I feel terrible sending Jason to the store so often. I’ll also be able to spend more time making things homemade, rather than buying them, and there won’t be as many things that pop up in our schedule that make it hard to eat at home.

Monday: wound care in the morning; Trade as One party at The Bacak’s; grocery store…we’ll grab something quick.

Tuesday: BBQ Meatballs; Mashed Potatoes

Wednesday: Meatball subs; Spinach with Garlic Chips…have I mentioned my obsession with this?

Thursday: Stuffed shells and Meat Sauce; Garlic Bread

Friday: Leftovers!

Saturday: Shrimp Pasta in a Foil Package; green beans…I’m also roasting 2-3 chickens to cut up and freeze for recipes

Sunday: for Jason to take to church; Chili Tot Casserole; Chocolate Cobbler (I’m making one of these for us as well!)

Monday: Pork Chops; Au Gratin potatoes

Tuesday: Chicken Veggie Quesadillas; Cilantro Lime Rice

Wednesday: BBQ Ribs; Green Bean Casserole; crescent rolls

Thursday: Leftovers!

Friday: Mexican Pizzas